


low battery

by weightedblankett



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Asexual Fujisaki Chihiro, Asexual Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko, Awkward Crush, Awkward Romance, Central Soda Kazuichi/Hinata Hajime, F/F, F/M, Gay Gundham Tanaka, Gay Hanamura Teruteru, Gay Hinata Hajime, Gay Komaeda Nagito, Gay Nidai Nekomaru, Gay Soda Kazuichi, Lesbian Asahina Aoi, Lesbian Celestia Ludenberg, Lesbian Kirigiri Kyoko, Lesbian Maizono Sayaka, Lesbian Mioda Ibuki, M/M, Multi, akane was abused, all these kids have trauma, kazuichi was abused, mikan was abused, please be nice to them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:23:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26990599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weightedblankett/pseuds/weightedblankett
Summary: taka starts a group chat for education, the only thing these kids are learning is to be gay and do crime.
Relationships: Hagakure Yasuhiro/Togami Byakuya, Hanamura Teruteru/Nidai Nekomaru, Hinata Hajime/Soda Kazuichi, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Kuwata Leon, Kirigiri Kyoko/Maizono Sayaka, Koizumi Mahiru/Saionji Hiyoko, Komaeda Nagito/Tanaka Gundham, Mioda Ibuki/Pekoyama Peko, Nanami Chiaki/Sonia Nevermind/Owari Akane, Oowada Mondo/Tsumiki Mikan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	1. i'm fucking straight

**Author's Note:**

> makoto naegi - lesbians are hot  
> sayaka maizono - miku miku you can call me miku   
> mukuro ikusaba - the better twin  
> leon kuwata - BALLS  
> chihiro fujisaki - im not a fucking loli, hifumi  
> mondo owada - corn maze  
> kiyotaka ishimaru - my back is broken, like the rules   
> hifumi yamada - yamada hifumi  
> celestia ludenberg - firetruck noises  
> sakura ogami - ogre   
> junko enoshima - regina george   
> yasuhiro hagakure - shaq  
> aoi asahina - barbecue sauce on my titties  
> toko fukawa - fukcawa  
> genocider syo - fuckawa but hetero  
> byakuya togami - richie rich  
> kyoko kirigiri - sherlock homo  
> hajime hinata - i am drew  
> byakuya twogami - the better byakuya  
> teruteru hanamura - ceo of cake  
> mahiru koizumi - pornhub worker  
> peko pekoyama - sworb waifuc  
> ibuki mioda - coconut headass  
> hiyoko saionji - banana ass bitch  
> mikan tsumiki - did i stutter?  
> nekomaru nidai - crotch itch  
> gundham tanaka - furry dick  
> nagito komaeda - furry dick taker  
> chiaki nanami - gaymer gorl  
> akane owari - big boobs?  
> sonia nevermind - sofia the first  
> fuyuhiko kuzuryuu - boss baby  
> kazuichi souda - the real thicc king  
> izuru kamakura - i am danny

kiyotaka ishimaru has started the group chat!

kiyotaka ishimaru has invited 31 people!

kiyotakaishimaru: hello everyone ^^

soudakazuichi: what the fuck is this and why is my name backwards

leonkuwata: hey mamas 

fuyuhikokuzuryuu: let me the fuck outta this shitshow

tokofukawa: wwhat thee hhell

akaneowari: ARE YOU OKAY WHY ARE YOU TYPING LIKE THAT

byakuyatogami: did she just … stutter in texts?

hiyokosaionji: why are you speaking in all caps you oversized titty typhoon

mikantsumiki: uum… itts pprobably just trembblingg..

hiyokosaionji: lol shut up pig barf

mikantsumiki: 

mikantsumiki has gone offline!

pekopekoyama: .

mondoowada: i will run you over fuck face

fuyuhikokuzuryuu: nevermind this guys cool

leonkuwata: i hate how you put a space in between fuckface

mondoowada: i will fuck you up you bitchass motherfucker

leonkuwata: STOP USING SPACES INAPPROPRIATELY 

kiyotakaishimaru: Please do not hurt classmates!

leonkuwata: sorry shawty but this mf gonna die

kiyotakaishimaru: “shawty?”

kazuichisouda: is nobody gonna talk about how mondo literally got death threatened

leonkuwata: yes

hiyokosaionji: yes

ibukimioda: YES

izurukamakura: ….yes.

kazuichisouda: hi izuru

leonkuwata: yeah shawty it means ummm shorty in an australian accent :sweats:

fuyuhikokuzuryu: gay

sonianevermind: hi everyone!

kazuichisouda: hii miss sonia

sonianevermind: hello, kazuichi.

chihirofujisaki: OUCH

teruteruhanamura: DAMN

kazuichisouda: ???

fuyuhikokuzuryu: not the two i’s 👋 

fuyuhikokuzuryu: twink

kazuichisouda: wtf is a twink

izurukamakura: a twink is classified as a homosexual male with attractive, boyish qualities. typically from the ages of 18-25, and often thought as a young, white, fashionable male.

leonkuwata: LFNAOHAKAJAK

kazuichisouda: makes sense but what’s a homosexual

izurukamakura: gay, kazuichi,

kazuichisouda: im not GAYF8SOZGY7ZIO9FUYASO8GUAYT7GFAA

mondoowada: BYE 💀 

leonkuwata: what is wrong? has the mighty beast known as the dick tamed you with it’s immaculate seduction skills?

kazuichisouda: WHAT

kiyotakaishimaru: Leon, are you into poetry now?

leonkuwata: yeah here i got a poem right now

leonkuwata: roses are red trumpets are brass i am a gay and you got a fat ass

teruteruhanamura: HUH

kiyotakaishimaru: Thank you. 

kazuichisouda: what the hell

kiyotakaishimaru: wait 

leonkuwata: no prob bbb anytime

mahirukoizumi: hi everyone!

mahirukoizumi: bye everyone.

hiyokosaionji: gm to mahiru!!!! <3 and everyone else.. ig..

teruteruhanamura: ugh these nicknames are fucking boringg

izurukamakura: ..i do have admin. hold on, i will change them.

izurukamakura has changed 32 names!

i am danny: ...hah. my nickname is hilarious.

BALLS: accurate

my back is broken, like the rules: My back isn't broken, please elaborate

i am danny: yet..

my back is broken, like the rules: Is that a threat? 

i am danny: it was an attempt at humor.

furry dick taker: ….

furry dick taker: accurate.

furry dick: greetings, mortals. what hellish idea have you-

furry dick: WHAT IN ABOMINATION IS MY NAME.

richie rich: Plebians. You are all disgusting.

shaq: says the guy who wears a coat and off brand suspenders lol

richie rich has left the chat!

shaq: i

lesbians are hot: what

miku miku you can call me miku: shut up makoto

sherlock homo: shut up makoto

shaq: shut up makoto

BALLS: shut up makoto

firetruck noises: shut up makoto.

the better twin: shut up makoto

im not a fucking loli, hifumi: shut up makoto

yamadahifumi: shut up makoto

fuckawa: shut up makoto

corn maze: shut up makoto

my back is broken, like the rules: shut up makoto

barbecue sauce on my titties: shut up makoto 

lesbians are hot: you say it ONE time.

shaq has added richie rich to the chat!

richie rich: shut up makoto

shaq: hi toga

the true thicc king: oooh, they fuckin

the true thicc king: WHAT???

boss baby: izuru i

boss baby: when did you get this side of you…

the true thicc king: sorry bro im straight

i am danny: ...unlikely.

the true thicc king: WHAT THE FUCK??

my back is broken, like the rules: Do not argue! I made this for the sake of academics :((

BALLS: okay! first lesson is sex ed and taka is my live demonstration

the true thicc king: HUH???

my back is broken, like the rules: Oh? Leon, do you really like teaching?

BALLS: i

BALLS: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

BALLS: becomes depr//ss//d gacha girl

boss baby: &/’doshsisjsEKNSL

ceo of cake: i really am…. the ceo of cake… i mean i got yours in my fuckcin hand @crotch itch

crotch itch: HI EVERYBODY (AND MY BOYFRIEND HANAMURA)

corn maze: BYE PLEASE💀💀

the true thicc king: YALL DATING??? WHAT???? AINT NOBODY TOLD ME???

banana ass bitch: y’all copying me 💀

boss baby: are you an idiot they told us like three weeks ago

sworb waifu: @coconut headass

coconut headass: yeeeeees, pekpek?

sworb waifu: Ily. 

coconut headass: WAAAHHHHHHH IBUKI LOVE YOU TOO!!!!!

the true thicc king: THEY’RE DATING????

boss baby: LMFAAOO EVERYBODY DATING NOW 

the true thicc king: LIKE WHO???

the true thicc king: I ONLY KNEW ABT GUNDHAM AND NAGITO???

boss baby: MF IDFK Y’ALL TELL ME WHO YOU’RE DATING/CRUSHING ITS GETTING BORING 🙄

sofia the first: i am dating chiaki and akane-

the true thicc king: HUH???? WHAT?????

corn maze: F LNFASKSKA

banana ass bitch: GIRLLL NOT BY TWO OF THEM 😭😭💀

the true thicc king: GOD DAMNIT………..

gaymor girl: ily sonia

sofia the firstL ily2!! <3

big boobs?: <3!! i love my gfs!!

shaq: im still tryna clutch toga… :(((

richie rich:

richie rich: HUH?

shaq: AH FUCK WTF

richie rich: Hiro.

shaq: y. yes?

richie rich: Please meet me later.

BALLS: they gon fuck

the true thicc king: they gon fuck--- SAME BRAINCELL

BALLS: BRO 

boss baby: @i am drew 

i am danny: i apologize, i, izuru, am currently fronting right now..

boss baby: mf ion know what that means get hajime 🙄

the true thicc king: HEY hajime has dissociative identity disorder he cant just do that idiot

boss baby: my apologies 

i am danny: it’s alright. what did you need to know?

boss baby: nothin j wanted him on

my back is broken, like the rules: I see romance common in here..

shaq: hey guys update i went to byakuya’s room now we’re dating

BALLS: you gave him head ?????????

the true thicc king: oh- uh- happy for you

boss baby: squints

boss baby: dms you

shaq: WHAT NO

richie rich: That was blunt.

BALLS: so is a cock

miku miku you can call me miku: why do you know that

my back is broken, like the rules has gone offline!

DMS - fuyuhiko kuzuryuu >>> kazuichi souda

fuyuhikokuzuryuu: ay bro u good u never use the hyphon emoji :angry:

kazuichisouda: um. yeah

fuyuhikokuzuryuu: dudeee istfg im trying to be nicer and care abt you 

kazuichisouda: fine ok ok im jealous :((

fuyuhikokuzuryuu: of shaq and richier rich???

kazuichisouda: no idiot of byakuya and hiro

fuyuhikokuzuryuu: who’s the lucky girllllll

kazuichisouda: um. it’s---

kazuichisouda: hajime…

fuyuhikokuzuryuu:

fuyuhikokuzuryuu: are you an idiot hajime is a boy

kazuichisouda: you are no help.

fuyuhikokuzuryuu: my specialty, hun :wink:


	2. the one that ran away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just more gay. thats it thats the summary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow!!! seperate group chat nicknames!!!
> 
> 'lol help me im gay'  
> fuyuhiko - baby finger  
> kazuichi - brother finger  
> mikan - sister finger  
> nagito - mommy finger  
> gundham - daddy finger
> 
> 'my type? twink mechanics :sunglasses:"  
> hajime - orangejuice  
> nagito - BLOOD  
> chiaki - gamergirlbathwater  
> ibuki - pekossweat

did i stutter? has come online!

did i stutter?: hhi…

corn maze: hi <3

did i stutter?: hhi mondo! :)) <<3

corn maze: <33!! 

the true thicc king: hi miki, currently crying i hate this fucking nickname :thefoodchain:

boss baby: pls do not cry you are so thick 

the true thicc king: STOP

i am danny: ...what does thicc really mean? i only chose it because of the way it was phrased and souda’s personality..

BALLS: it means his ass is fat

i am danny:

i am danny has gone offline!

boss baby: he’s flirting :flooshed:

the true thicc king: im. straight.

sofia the first: wow! i didn’t know souda could be a comedian!

boss baby: GOODBYE

the true thicc king: UGH. I AM STRAIGHT.

richie rich: You are as straight as I am poor.

the true thicc king has gone offline!

shaq: wait youre straight??

richie rich: we literally made out five minutes ago.

shaq: oh right haha

sworb waifu: I

banana ass bitch: girl ……………………..

my back is broken, like the rules has came online!

lesbians are hot: i missed you;; everyone was bullying me :pensive: 

yamadahifumi: makoto shut up you’re so straight i hate you

firetruck noises: iconic 

my back is broken, like the rules: I will now be studying, ping me if needed!! ^^

BALLS: @my back is broken, like the rules i always need u hottie

my back is broken, like the rules: Are you in trouble/pain? 

BALLS: without you…. yes

boss baby: bruh i

my back is broken, like the rules: Do you want me to come over?

BALLS: SALIVATES YES SIR

my back is broken, like the rules: I am on my way!! ^^

my back is broken, like the rules has gone offline!

corn maze: y’all gon fuck and he aint even know

the true thicc king has come online!

the true thicc king: ..ughhh hate it here

regina george: tell me about it 💅

the true thicc king: AH

regina george: rude much ..

the true thicc king: i was just surprised omg 

regina george: ok whore ❤️

the true thicc king: im sorry-??

regina george: istfg what is everyone doing :pensive:

furry dick taker: taking gundhams dick

furry dick: no you are not. i am not even at home.

the true thicc king: my dad isnt home so im vibing

regina george: ugh felt u wanna come over @everyone annoying the shit out of me

regina george: oops

shaq: GO FUCK YOURSELF ENOSHIMA

regina george: ok, bob ross 

BALLS: she like papi i adore you 🥰💕

boss baby: im like baby i ain't normal😈‼️ rrrAaeaAaaaēæ

shaq: four in her ❤️💕 four in her🥰😍

the true thicc king: how tf would you fit four--

firetruck noises: do not finish that statement.

i am drew: kaz i

the true thicc king: AH

the true thicc king: umm hiiiiiii hajime :DD

boss baby:

the ceo of cake:

boss baby: coughs awkwardly

the ceo of cake: RIGHT???? oh my god

boss baby: kiss or something istfg

the true thicc king: what

the true thicc king: what?

banana ass bitch: :flooshed:

the true thicc king: dude, im straight lol i thought i told you this

sworb waifu: Did Souda just come out as straight?

firetruck noises: i do not know why he is trying to be me. open up the safe, bitches got a lot to say. :gun:

i am drew: uh ??? i come back and 6 people are dating and kaz comes out

i am drew: as straight 

shaq: **10

im not a fucking loli, hifumi: leaving the serevf

richie rich: Why are you counting?

i am drew: why is it so boring right now

BALLS: is it because kazuichi went idle

i am drew: 

i am drew: he’s the only fun one

banana headass: hes literally ugly and a scaredy cat what???/

i am drew: at least he can reach things

i am drew: i like his appearance, he's not a basic person 

BALLS:

firetruck noises:

BALLS:

firetruck noises:

BALLS: DAMNIT

firetruck noises: ill be waiting on my $18 dollars. kuwata.

i am drew: ??????????? what

firetruck noises: nothing, nothing, continue on your appreciation of souda.

i am drew: okay well ;; he’s a really good friend, like, amazing. he’s funny, can be kinda clueless at times, but he's super sweet and stuff 

i am drew: we’re soul friends 

ceo of cake: mister, i have a question

ceo of cake: is there a small itty bitty weenie tiny little baby chance you are a flaming homosexual

i am drew: im literally bi what

ceo of cake:

ceo of cake: that too

crotch itch: WELCOME TO THE CLUB HINATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am drew: i thought i told yo-- nevermind ugh 

i am drew:

i am drew: is it bad braids are attractive

i am drew: like in general

boss baby: 

boss baby: bruh

miku miku you can call me miku: no not rlly theyre actually hot asf

sherlock homo: sayaka i swear to god

little egg: yeah

lesbians are hot: KOMARU WHAT??

little egg: shut up makoto

barbecue sauce on my tittes: you two are so oblivious it's scary

fuckawa: hi omaru!!!

i am drew: are you talking about kyoko and sayaka bc thyere already dating @barbecue sauce on my titties sorry idk who tf you are

barbecue sauce on my titties: asahina,, and no i'm talking about you 

i am drew: you make ONE mistake

did i stutter?: hheehoo occtaggon

barbecue sauce on my titties: i think hajime just confessed- 

did i stutter?: lloll iff you wereent in the ffg chat you wwouldnt know…. llmao!!! bballed >:33

did i stutter?: mmondo taught me that ^^

corn maze: “lol if you werent in the fg chat you wouldnt know…. lmao!! balled >:3” istfg i love my girlfriend

my back is broken, like the rules: That was extremely hard to read. I will give you credit though

i am drew: @the true thicc king

the true thicc king: what im busy on schoolwork fuckfa-

the true thicc king; hiiii hajime!! what did you need?? i can help on homework like last time if needed 

ceo of cake: im not even gonna comment

boss baby: same

i am drew: do u wanna hang out????? im bored rn

the true thicc king: yes!! whered ya wanna go?

i am drew: that cherry tree place behind the school looks peaceful!! we dont have to go there tho

the true thicc king: okk :DD see u there soul bro

the true thicc king has gone offline!

boss baby: what the fuck

\--

lol help me im gay: new message thread

brother finger: AHHHHHHHHHH???? PLEASE HELP

baby finger: dude he just asked u to go to some dumb tree ur gonna be fine

sister finger: ddumb tree? tthats a cherry bllossom ttree.. yyknow, like the love kind?

baby finger: spoilers 

daddy finger: friend mortal kazuichi, all will be well. i, myself, had ‘panicked’ a little when asking out my current corpse groom.

brother finger: im PANICKING and you make a CORPSE BRIDE REFRENCE????

daddy finger: shut up. i am trying to help you, you simp.

baby finger: MMFAOASJS

brother finger: FUCK FUCK FUCK HE PINGED ME FUCK SHIT FUCK HE PINGED ME FUCK SHIT AH FUCK NO FUCK UM

baby finger: … its a ping …

sister finger: hhe’s hopeless…

\--

i am drew: @the true thicc king

the true thicc king: yyes hajime?? OH are you already there?? im so sorry for keeping you waiting ahhh

i am drew: you're good, im not there yet though

\-- 

my type? twink mechanics :sunglasses:: new message thread

orangejuice: lol guys im gonna do it

gamergirlbathwater: good luck broski!!

BLOOD: yeah… it’d be a shame if he says no and you’re both separated and-

orangejuice: nagito if you finish that im filing a complaint to gundham

pekossweat: ibuki says pog!! go for it hajime-chan!!

orangejuice: i would say thanks but your username is “peko’s sweat”

BLOOD: dont u remember the best way to tell if a person is lying is to lick their sweat?

gamergirlbathwater: i am going to kick you

orangejuice: I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU WITH EVERY FIBER IN MY BEING GOODNIGHT AND GOODBYE

pekossweat: tell me how it goes hajime-chan!!!

BLOOD: lol have fun getting a gorilla grip on kazuichi-kun’s fat as--

orangejuice: EAT A DICK

BLOOD: i already have

gamergirlbathwater: what the fuck

\-- 

kazuichi fiddled anxiously while standing by the tree, hoping hajime didn’t stand him up. “please please come..” he mumbled, before opening his eyes and noticing hajime walking up. “hey! sorry i was late, got water all over my, uh, shirt.” he apologized, looking away with a slight grin. 

“so.. any particular reason you asked me to hang out here?” kazuichi asked, fiddling with his jumpsuit. “no, no.. you’ve been wearing that jumpsuit for a while now, heh.” 

kazuichi blushed, turning to the side in flushed embarrassment. “i-i just don’t have anything else to change into..!” he mumbled, pouting slightly. even though hajime’s heart fluttered, he still managed to respond. “aha- that’s alright! you can wear mine if you want.” he smiled, even though he was screaming inside.

“i-i can?” the pink haired male asked, his face surprised. hajime muttered a weak ‘yeah.” and kazuichi lit up. “aww, thanks!” he grinned, hugging hajime. hinata flushed and hugged kazuichi back. “erm.. thanks.” he muttered. kazuichi nodded, until a warmth encompassed his hands. hajime had taken them in his own, raising them up to their chests. 

“souda.. i didn’t just invite you on a whim.” he muttered, while kazuichi was blushing. “u-um-” he stammered, when hajime cut him off.

“i l-like you, souda..”

kazuichi blushed. “uhm- uh- i- um- g-gotta go-” he stammered, running off with his face beet red. “k-kaz!” hajime called, but he’d already left.

\--

my type? twink mechanics :sunglasses:: new message thread

orangejuice: so😂😂😂😃😃😃😃😇😇😭😭😭

orangejuice: he said no🤪🤪🤪🤪😀😃😃😇

orangejuice: currently critynigjssjg

gamergirlbathwater: that does not make sense

gamergirlbathwater: what did he say like word for word

orangejuice: ahahaa ummm

orangejuice: he went * runs away *

pekosswear: ibuki says that isn't a no.. peko did that when i asked her out !! peko and ibuki are dating!!

gamergirlbathwater: ^^ 

orangejuice: then wtf is it????

gamergirlbathwater: he didnt say no, he just got embarrassed 

BLOOD: he was running to get the flowers idiot /j

pekossweat: would hajime like ibuki to message kazuichi-chan??

orangejuice: he is ur cousin so like ya

pekossweat: okie dokie!!

\-- DMS - ibukimioda >>> kazuichisouda 

ibukimioda: hihi kazuichi-chan!!

kazuichisouda: hey cuz

ibukimioda: do u know whats wrong with hinata-chan ??? :(

kazuichisouda: uum.. nnoo!! why ddid you ask

ibukimioda: hinata-chan has told ibuki he is sad!! :((

kazuichisouda: oh.. that.. um 

kazuichisouda: can u ask him to dm me cuz?

ibukimioda: ok ok!!!

\--  
my type? twink mechanics :sunglasses:: new message thread

pekossweat: he told me to tell you to dm him!!

orangejuice: ok i will but im like really scared

BLOOD: itll be ok!! even if he says no you can just show him what hes missing out on!

orangejuice: i am not going to do that

\--


End file.
